Like most little boys, I often dreamed about having super-hero powers when I was younger. Heck, I do even to this day. I remember wishing with all my might that I could fly or run really fast. One of my favorite fantasies was to imagine what it would be like to be invisible. Oh how much fun I would have pulling my worst enemies' pants down in public and watching them squirm as all the girls laughed at their Spiderman boxers...
But as I have matured, my Superhero fantasies have changed as well. Sure, I'd still love to fly (especially with gas prices the way they are), but what I'd REALLY like to do is have the ability to pop people's tires.
That's right, I'd just point my finger at some guy's car and *POP*, there goes his tire.
I was reminded of this rather practical super-hero wish the other day as we were driving home. My wife and I had treated the kids to a quick little trip to the mall so that they could ride the merry-go-round and play with the other kids in the little playland area. It was nothing special, but we had fun. We waited in line at the traffic light for our turn to merge onto the freeway entrance ramp, and even let a car or two ahead of us. It was a good day, so I was feeling polite and generous... but nothing to crazy or anything that would give the people behind me a reason to be ticked off.
Suddenly, as we accelerated down the freeway onramp in anticipation of actually getting onto the freeway, some punk in a Lexus wannabe SUV swerves around us from out of nowhere, causing me to have to slam on my brakes to avoid hitting him. This was no accident. It was very apparent from the way this punk was driving that he meant to do nothing other than jump ahead of me in order to get where he was going just a
little sooner.
I was not as angry about getting cut off as I was about that loser putting my family's life at risk. I laid on the horn to let him know of my displeasure as he sped off.
If I were a superhero, at that very moment, I'd point my finger at his car and BLAM, his tire would blow out. He wouldn't get hurt of course, because I'd be careful to do it at just the right time, but it would still be awesome.
If you've ever had to change a tire in Arizona in June, you
know that there is
anything you'd rather be doing than changing that tire. Plucking your armhairs one-by-one with tweezers would be a no-brainer alternative. So a popped tire for being a punk would be instant payback. It would be awesome. They'd be none-the-wiser as I speed by laughing maniacally.
Most people carry
one spare in their car in case of a flat. A spare tire sucks, but imagine how bad your day would be with TWO blown tires. If you managed to
really tick me off, I might just blow out all four!
Yeah... that would be awesome. Beats flying any day.